Agreed. I think a lot of people feel that way. Sharing finances, a home, bills, etc. is indicative of mutual stability. But I’ve dated some people who — regardless of my very responsible, financially capable nature, still refused to share anything with me. Usually, they cite having an ex who was irresponsible with finances or who used them for money. I am not that person, but they treat me the same nonetheless. This lack of willingness to share seems to suggest I was “good enough” to play house with and sleep with, but not actually respected or considered when decisions were being made. Those relationships invariably end. I don’t like being made to feel like I’m ‘not good enough’ when I’ve not done anything to them to suggest otherwise. I’m not a child. I’m an adult woman with a job, my own bills, and my own responsibilities that I’ve successfully been taking care of for decades without them.
I have been on the flip side though. I’ve dated guys who outright refused to keep steady employment. They want to be the boss. “I don’t want to answer to the man.” Hate to tell ya, but most of us work for “the man,” and we all can’t be the boss. Keep in mind, this is the same type of guy who isn’t freelancing or trying to build his own business either. He just wants to sponge off everyone around them and pretend like they still respect themselves when they look in the mirror in the morning. Note, the relationship doesn’t start out this way, they just do the big reveal of their sheer laziness a few months in. Such a con job. Never understood why a person wouldn’t want to earn a steady paycheck other than it must be cutting into their precious online gaming time. Like being around grown-up kids. Not sexy. I wouldn’t share my finances with someone who has no ambition or regard for the future and stability of our relationship.