And yet, since finances are one of the major reasons couples fight and break up, unfortunately, you have to have the awkward talk about income and financial smarts. Is this someone who pays his/her bills? Are they in debt up to their eyeballs? If so, what kind of debt (college, mortgage, consumer)?
Imagine marrying someone, and unifying your financial well-being to someone who may earn a good living, but who also spends it as fast as they make it? Or worse, are in so much consumer debt they might as well file for bankruptcy.
Yeah, it is garish, but you need to know the landscape before getting too invested. I've dated guys in the past who, while nice, charming, smart, etc. were absolutely inept when it came to managing and maintaining their finances; retirement accounts; credit cards. For the life of me, I don't understand people who make plenty to live on but somehow manage to 'forget' to pay their bills. It is called auto-pay, okay. Use it. I also don't understand people who refuse to work. They are able, they just think they are above it. I've encountered this a couple of times too.
My ex-husband was the worst. After we got married, he decided he just didn't want to work, no discussion, he'd just up and quit perfectly good jobs. He was a pouty little fragile narcissist who thought he should be the boss or nothing type. Plus, he resented that I made more than he did and thought I should supplement his able-working ass while he gamed all day. Um, nope. Thankfully, I had the forethought to have him sign a prenup and I eventually left - owing him nothing. Otherwise, I might have been stuck having to shell out alimony, even if just for a short time. And, given he was able to work and we didn't have children together, that really wouldn't have been fair to me.