But that’s just it — you hit the nail on the head. Women, in general, are praised and coveted for their youth and beauty. Men, regardless of age, usually aren’t. They age into silver-foxes, while we become invisible. They can forgo the “just for men” and be seen even sexier for it, whereas us ladies are considered past our prime. I think that is a bullshit double-standard for sure. I’d rather be wanted for my mind, not necessarily for my body.

Look, I don’t hate the way I look. Never honestly did. I did hate how others assessed me based on not being the thinnest, tallest, youngest, etc…When I was a young pup, I was curvy in a time when being an hourglass was not the thing you wanted to be. Everyone was tan, blonde, and twiggy thin. I was redheaded, can’t tan to save my life, medium height, average weight, curvy. I was the “fat” friend or the ugly one who babysat the purses but I didn’t weigh more than 130lbs. I spend years trying to overcome the stigma of basing my worth on appearance.

Now, I’m in my 40s and am pretty much invisible. I’m not gray yet, but that doesn’t seem to matter. And I know people who went white or gray in their 20s. It isn’t a direct marker of being over-the-hill, just your melanocytes giving up the ghost on wanting to produce color. It’s like guys who go bald. It can happen when they are 25 or 55.

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