…n’t take any action until I had had all the tests and scans she had recommended, plus several more. She said it was incredibly dangerous to become pregnant after 35 and that I probably wouldn’t be able to achieve or carry a pregnancy to term at my “advanced” age of 38.
First, I want to say I’m sorry you were met with a lack of support and compassion regarding your desire to want to have children.
I’ve found many women, regardless of age and child-choice, are often not listened to or taken seriously by medical providers. I mean, we live in modern times where we have reports of women being bullied into unnecessary c-sections. No medical reason, just a preference by the attending physician either for convenience or billing. But what about the needs and wants of the patient? If a mother wants to and can endure a natural birth, why deny her? Or at the very least, give her all of the information and let her make the decision. Don’t take it away from her. If a woman is interested in having children, how about providing her information on her options instead of just the risks? Or, for those who don’t want kids or more kids, when they ask about their options — don’t treat them like their choices aren’t valid either.
From the other side of the fence, I’m child-free by choice (for what I feel are valid reasons). I know a lot of women who have spent their 20s and 30s trying to convince their doctors they weren’t interested in having children or having any more children. Instead of getting help with reproductive planning benefiting the patients' needs, they were met with a lot of hostility and resistance from medical professionals. Their reasons, even when they were life-threatening, were discredited, made to feel like their life-choice wasn’t valid. They were told time and time again they’d “change their minds.” They faced medical and legal misinformation and obfuscations aligning with the doctor’s agenda and personal beliefs. NOT actual medical or legal facts. Personally, I don’t like being spoken down to by someone we are supposed to build a relationship of trust with. Someone who literally holds our health and well-being into their hands.
Again, very sorry to hear about your negative experience with your doctor.