Because I’ve been there myself, I know how hard it is to not respond when a narcissist is accusing you of all sorts of things that simply aren’t true. It’s unbearably tempting to write back immediately because we want to stand up for ourselves, we want to show them we’re not going to take their abuse anymore, and — biggest mistake of all — we subconsciously want them to admit they are wrong and apologize.
Haha! Yeah, they'll n-e-v-e-r do that. Narcs don't feel shame or empathy, nor do they ever think they are in the wrong. And if by chance you do manage to approach them with irrefutable proof, they'll still deny wrong doing and flail into a defensive gaslighting and smear campaigning position. Mommy dearest was best at that. She used people for $, and whenever anyone said no or dared to stand up for themselves, she was cruel and manipulative: pitting family against one another, creating expensive messes to clean up, pissing off the neighbors, saying inappropriate embarrassing things to your partners. She treated her daughter like living wallets; the help. Her sons were little flawless Gods. Let us overlook the fact they never once questioned her abusive behavior or stopped it. In fact, they (one in particular) would engage in it, fueling her ability to hurt others. And as brainwashed as they were, it is hard to forgive siblings who actively used you for their own betterment. One was so devout, he would act as her muscle, and physically menace anyone who dared to cross 'mommy dearest.' If you dared to confront her about anything, she would cough up a few fake tears and get him involved. He didn't give a shit what the issue was or that the other person was a victim of her misdeeds, mommy dearest needed to be protected no matter what. Their relationship was always unhealthy, inappropriate.