HE IS when he’s not stepping up and taking on the tasks he seems to think he’s too good for because he’s the guy (traditional gender role assignments)…It is so frustrating when your partner refuses to see they are not carrying an equal share and instead of helping are dragging you down. I’m really sorry you were dealing with this. It sounds very similar to mine. Ultimately, I left him. I was tired of feeling like a living wallet. Like once, I came home, having your “what’s the deal” moment…

His response, “I don’t understand why you come home so moody all the time. You should work on being happier when you hit the door.”

I thought, “You’ve got to be kidding me, really? I NEED to work on MY ATTITUDE?” I said something along the line of, “I’d be happier if you’d get off your ass and help me instead of dragging me down. I’m working and going to school and doing everything else.” I kept thinking, what do I really need you for when I can do everything myself. Sure, not the most supportive, loving thing to say, but I had enough of his bullshit. I was lucky, we didn’t have kids and we had a prenup (though I am in no way rich) in place to protect property I owned prior to marriage.

Flash forward a few years. I ran into my former sister-in-law who reports he never grew up. He lives with his parents (who are in their 70s now) and they financially support him. I was so disappointed to hear he didn’t grow up and out of his selfish phase.

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Technophobe Who Codes | UX Generalist | Freelance Writer | Egalitarian-Feminist | True-Crime/Forensics Enthusiast

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