Honestly, I didn’t feel remotely bad about the first time I spent with someone after I left my husband. He’d not touched me in — longer than I care to share — and I was sick of feeling unattractive and undesirable. For the longest time, I thought it was me, that he’d lost interest in me. Ended up being all about him. During our marriage, I would have never imagined being with another person, ever. I adored my husband. But I put up with way more bullsh*t than I should have and he should have stepped up. Instead, he messed up on an epic scale. So after feeling like frumpy crap for so long, it was my turn to finally feel better about myself. Being with someone who was eager to spend time with me was the healthiest thing I could do. And yeah, it brought a sense of finality to my divorce. While I already knew I would never go back, this cemented it in my mind.
Looking at my life now, reflecting on those who are no longer in it, I’m amazed at the course things took. I purged so many negative, toxic people. I never thought I’d be where I am now. But it is the healthiest and happiest I’ve been.