I have lost many a friendship over how they treated me when first getting involved with their SO. Now, I get the whole wonderful feeling you get when you first get involved with someone new. I’m very understanding and confident. However, if we made plans and my ass is walking out my front door, keys in hand to get into my car to come meet you, and you text or call me with something like, “Me and [insert new partner’s name here] are going to [see the movie or go out to eat] instead,” I’m going to be pissed. Why? Because you wasted my time and effort. I set aside my afternoon or evening on pre-made plans you were not considerate enough to keep because you wanna spend even more time with your boyfriend. You gave no thought to my time.

Once, in high school, my supposed best friend started dating this guy Mark. Now Mark was a perfectly nice guy, but Mark was around all the time. I could never get any girl time alone with my friend. For whatever stupid reason, her logic was I was jealous and wanted Mark. Um, no. Not at all. But gee, thanks for thinking the worst of me instead of listening to me when I kept saying I wanted more one on one time. Here I thought I was being pretty clear and they were reading beyond my words and actions and thought I was into this guy or jealous of their relationship. Nope. I would politely suggest setting time aside for her and me to hang out alone, and invariably he would show up anyway. How does that scream I’m into him, if I’m pissed he is invading my time with my friend? No clue.

Ultimately, I stopped reaching out to this friend. I stop reaching out to any of them if they pick up one of two behaviors: 1. accusing me of wanting their man (bullshit, I do not have time for insecure drama, next), and 2. ditching plans with me one too many times to hang out with them. If you want to hang with your man, be my guest. But DO NOT pre-make plans with me then ditch me over and over to hang with him instead. It is disrespectful.

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Technophobe Who Codes | UX Generalist | Freelance Writer | Egalitarian-Feminist | True-Crime/Forensics Enthusiast

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