I tried dating on Match, back when it was just becoming less of a stigma to meet someone online. Overall, it was not a satisfying experience. I was very — to the point — on my bio. I wasn’t interested in marriage or kids, but I did want companionship. No, not hookups. No reading between the lines. I wanted someone I could build a life with. I just wasn’t interested in taking on their last name or having kids. At the time, I was still open to dating someone with kids, but after doing it, I’ve realized that too has its own complexities.

But I digress. I received a healthy amount of attention and some not to healthy correspondence from men in my area. A lot of, “You look hot” or “send me your number.” Ultimately, I only responded to those who made a point of more worthwhile conversation on the Match platform. Then, we’d schedule a face to face for coffee. I was often disappointed because many of these guys were interested in marriage and children, or they wanted something younger and thinner (even though I was in my late 20s and not overweight). They just assumed I would change my mind. Or, and this was grossly common, we’d go out and during the conversation, they’d openly check out other women or the game on the nearest television. Then have the gall to ask me out again.

I’ve long since given up on love. At this point in my life, I have no quixotic delusions of romantic love, like I did when I was younger and stupid. Sure, I held out hope longer than I should of that I would find someone who loved me the way I deserve. But that kind of love doesn’t exist in real life. Not for me, anyway. I’ve had my heart broken and been used, misled, and hurt one too many times. At the very least, I know the person I’m with cares about me. I’m aware he is not in love with me. Instead, we are good for one another and enjoy the companionship.

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Technophobe Who Codes | UX Generalist | Freelance Writer | Egalitarian-Feminist | True-Crime/Forensics Enthusiast

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