I wanna leap out of their bedroom closet and yell, “Mistake.” Give the poor guy a heads up, THIS is the moment where you listen to your partner, not blow them off.
Never ‘laugh’ something off and say it ‘isn’t a big deal’ when a partner tells you something they feel is important to address. Even something as small as leaving a glass on the counter can build into some serious resentment later because of the sheer principle you don’t care enough and put the onus on someone else to deal with it. Well, I don’t wanna tidy up after you every day for the rest of our lives. Do the math. Her washing up after you will add up to thousands of times, over a tedious task you can do yourself. The glass is already in your hand, put it into the dishwasher. Or, gasp, if it is full of clean dishes, empty it without having to be told. It isn’t a criticism or a lecture. She’s just tired of cleaning up after your shit. She’s not your mom or your maid, she’s the person you live with. If she likes the house to be orderly and clean than be considerate of your partner and tidy up after yourself.
It is a big deal to the person following along after you, cleaning up your mess. To laugh it off is essentially gaslighting or discrediting the things they feel are important.