If I were to find myself single at this point, I would not try online dating or any of the apps. I too hate forcing a connection or feeling like I’m on the spot to perform at my best. Can’t I just be me? Also, I’m not 22 or a size 2. I’m never going to be that young and naive again. And I don’t like being held to unrealistic beauty standards by (some) guys who seem to think we can stave off aging. Plus, I don’t have the energy to delicately tiptoe around yet another fragile ego. It is exhausting having to constantly build up someone else. Especially, when it isn’t returned. I’m not put here to constantly make you feel better about yourself. But I guess I attract those types of people, or did.
Again, if I were to find myself single in the future: Given the ghosts of my dating past, growing old alone (with a cat), single doesn’t sound so bad sometimes. At least then I’m doing what I want to do when I want to do it without bullshit games and judgement. I’m not having to babysit another ego, or “explain myself” to someone when they ask why I’m in a bad mood or not in the mood, or any of the other tedium that comes with being in a relationship.