I’m loving this article so much right now. It is as if you lived in my household with my narc mother. She would have ticked all of these boxes. Especially the ones where I needed to let shit go (namely the abuse she had been the ringleader of) and just normalize the dysfunction (coping better with the drama and messes she created) in order to keep HER appeased. Even though she was making everyone around her as miserable as possible with her games, gaslighting, smear campaigns, pitting her kids against one another, controlling the narrative of conversations with misinformation and lies, faking illnesses and playing a victim for attention-seeking and money, etc.
I went from being her lost child to the scapegoat the moment I started questioning the inconsistencies or pointing out the disproportionate treatment she doled out to others. She especially liked treating her daughters like garbage on an increasing scale, regardless of what good we did, and idolizing her sons like Gods. They never did wrong. Even though, one of my brothers is the type of guy who advocates for domestic violence against women, saying things like, “they deserve it.” It is disgusting how he’s been groomed to take on a lot of her narc-tendencies and acts as her bouncer.
At the very least, I can say now her sweet old lady facade has been slipping more and more, over the years. She’s become predictable and pathetic. Her actions have increasingly narrowed her pool of victims to just the people who are her most devout flying monkeys and golden children sons. Everyone else has managed to escape to have better, healthier lives.
Alas, I am just a huge disappointment to her. Darn.