I'm over 40 and I still get this every so often, especially during the holidays with his extended family and wedding-related social gatherings. The last bridal shower I attended, and by last I mean most recent and the last one I'll ever attend again (my advice, just send a gift), I was asked by a table-full of well-meaning ladies about when we’d get married. I thought this weird since, at the time, I don't think any of them were married either and were all over 35, no kids.

I've been with my SO for several years now. We’re both divorced. Both over 40. He and I live together and he has kids (in college now) from his previous marriage. I will admit, it feels weird calling a grown man I’ve been living with for years ‘my boyfriend.’ He is more than that, to me. But I don’t have the words to define it properly.

Getting remarried really wasn't a priority to me. But I do find it interesting NO ONE ASKS HIM about it. I'm always the one being asked when we're gonna get married. Why am I being asked and not him? If I am being honest with myself, he's not madly or deeply in love with me. I'm not nearly as dim or quixotic as I was when I was naive and stupid (younger). Like when I married my now ex-husband (who was an emotionally and financially manipulative narcissist). But we have a great relationship. Sometimes we toy with the idea, but I think it has more to do with companionship and security than it does this palpable, earth-shattering romance everyone wants to make a marriage out to be with the bs sales pitch of “happy ever after.

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Technophobe Who Codes | UX Generalist | Freelance Writer | Egalitarian-Feminist | True-Crime/Forensics Enthusiast

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