I don’t think my fiance will take it well if I ask for a prenup, either. My biggest fear is that she’ll be so offended she won’t want to get married at all. How much money do I need to have to start thinking about a prenup? Does it make sense if my net wo…
Marriage is about joining assets. While it is a lovely notion to have this quixotic view of marriage, ultimately, that is what it is. Now, I don’t think there is anything wrong about being pragmatic about considering the what-ifs.
At the time I got married I was very much in love with my now ex-husband. I had never considered marriage before him, so it was a pretty big deal. I am also a realist. Relationships can fall apart; what if he cheated, or was conning me (which, I found out later, he was). He didn’t like the idea of a prenup, but he signed it. If your partner doesn’t like it, I would question what their issues or motives are too.
I did not have a lot of money, but I didn’t want to have to split my retirement or investments or personal property with my spouse if he decided he wanted to not be together anymore or if he cheated on me, etc. He had also stopped working during our marriage — just because. So had I not had a prenup, I would have been paying him some kind of spousal support for about two years after simply because he didn’t want to get his lazy ass off the couch. Now, I don’t know how driven and hardworking this person’s partner is, but there are those inconsiderate a**holes out there who think it is ok to quit working and game all day while the other person picks up the slack…yeah, it is not. He had no excuse not to work. He just decided he didn’t want to anymore. There were several other things that came up, slowly hammering the nails into the coffin of our marriage. Deciding to be unreliable was just one. Now, I’m not a gold digger or anything, I just expect my partner to work. I do. Most people do. We didn’t have kids. So there was no reason for him to stay home.
Anyway, I got divorced a few years ago. Yeah, it sucks and not what I wanted, but he gave me no other choice. I gave it a good year before I sat down with a lawyer because I was sick of his games, laziness, entitlement, and bullshit. Because I had a prenup, it took one meeting and one check. My divorce, because of my prenup, cost me next to nothing and was essentially done after a few days. Technically, it took a couple of months because of how the paperwork has to circulate with the court, but we didn’t have to show up or anything. I just got a call from my lawyer one day saying it was signed off by a judge and I was no longer legally married.