Point is, if after 20 years a partner can’t seem to bring themselves to be comfortable or considerate enough to add you to their will (if nothing else, for peace of mind) you should NOT marry them either. Hell, you might want to reconsider the whole of the relationship and if it is one you need to stay in. All I know is, I would be offended if I had a partner who wasn’t willing to include me after that many years.