Respectfully, it seems, for whatever reason, the other woman is immediately the target of all the blame and all the hate in these situations. Never the guy who cheated; never the person who made all of the relationship vows and promises. They are the person who betrayed us the most. We never consider, hey, maybe that a**hole misled her too. Maybe she has no clue I (the girlfriend/partner) even exist. Or if she does, perhaps he deceived her into thinking we were already on the outs, in cases of married, separated and getting a divorce but co-habitating because neither can afford yet to live elsewhere. You know the drill. You have no idea what he has said to this other person (speaking generally, not just on the angle of this post). And while I don't advocate for cheating, it is a symptom of an already fragile situation. If someone is cheating, it's usually because they were never committed to begin with or they want out of the situation and don't know how else to go about getting out other than to 'burn it down.' That's been my experience anyway.
I've since learned that while I'm not thrilled with the "other woman" - because I too have been cheated on - I made a point to focus on the guy I was dating who knowingly hurt me instead of wasting my energy on her. Seeing as I can't say 100% what he's told her.
Thank you for sharing.