Same. Many of us struggle to put our finger on defining the problem. Still, we know one exists. I felt the same, initially thinking my mother was unusual especially when compared to all of the other mothers. Whenever we voiced concerns over the household dynamic, how chaotic and tense it was, we were strictly encouraged to normalize the dysfunction and keep our mouths shut. That, and people didn’t seem to believe us or dismissed the severity of our claims when we did dare make them. She was beloved by all — outside of the house. Just a sweet, mother-Earth type who couldn’t possibly harm a fly. How wrong they were. She was like a pink scorpion, innocent looking but deadly.