Same. My family growing up were ungrateful takers; affection and love were conditional. It cost me literal years of my life and thousands of dollars to learn that lesson. Just about every guy I dated was also a taker. It took me a long time to shift perspective and realize, I needed to be a “fucking flower,” as your sister so eloquently put it, and focus on my own damn needs for a change because no one else will. And, I would never use anyone the way I’ve known people to try to use me. It is pathetic and sick to use people.