And yet when I shout and cry and holler because my team — women — is angrily, horribly, desperately fighting for a win, any win, it’s perceived as unseemly. It’s a bit unsightly. Women should be calm, cool and collected. When they give in to their emotion…
There was a story I read where a woman was talking about her childhood, her mother and how she dealt with her anger specifically. Her mother worked a full-time job and a mother of two kids — so you can imagine what kinds of bs she put up with (given the emotional and physical load she was encumbered with during her day job and after work). Her mother never raised her voice, because when she did her s*ithead of a husband would shut her down with telling her she was being irrational or crazy. Heads up guys, do not accuse us of being irrational or crazy when we are justifiably upset about something. It is demeaning to have our partner completely dismiss our feelings about something that is important to US.
She talked about how one night her mother ever so cooly and silently went about tossing dinner plates out of their 2nd story kitchen window into the backyard — where they shattered on the wraparound driveway. Apparently, her husband complained about when his meal hit the table one too many times. Now, she was also working just as many hours as he was. Making about half as much. Then coming home to pretty much do everything from cooking to cleaning to helping the kids with homework and school projects, while her partner dropped his lazy ass into a recliner and channel surfed until dinner. Whereupon he dropped his lazy ass into a dining room chair to wait for his meal like he was a king. Her mother finally hit her threshold with this double standard bullshit. According to the woman, her father just sat there stunned as his wife of 15+ years hurled the dishes out the window. Again, she wasn’t raging, she was silent. She’s been so oppressed with how she’d been allowed to express her frustrations that it had finally resulted in a physical manifestation of dish-breaking. And guys wonder why shows like Snapped are so popular. Like you didn’t drive her to it somehow? Shortly after, she filed for divorce.
Just a sidebar if any guys are reading this and you consider watching your own kids as babysitting, you are totally in the wrong. It is not babysitting; they are your kids too and just as much your responsibility. And if you can’t be troubled to do something around the house after you’ve been asked and you call your girlfriend or wife a nag, you are acting like a big baby. You are not a child. And if she’s gotten to the point where you’ve been asked multiple times to clean up after yourself and you don’t help out around the house you live in and help clutter, you need to grow up and stop sitting around waiting to be asked to do something. If you see a mess, just clean it up “without being asked.” Don’t be a burden, he an adult. I suggest you read Fed Up if you need further advice on how to save your relationship before your partner snaps.