This was a response I had earlier to an article where a young woman detailed her experience about being grabbed on the street and being scared to do anything as he had other friends with him. She felt powerless and afraid.

“ Seriously? What kind of man does that? I was in a bar once, when I was younger and trimmer, wearing an over-sized sweater and some well-fitting jeans. Nothing screaming, “Come and get it,” though that shouldn’t matter. And yet, as I was leaving the ladies restroom, a young man in line for the men’s, reared back and slapped me on the ass so hard he knocked me down. I stumbled forward, caught myself, and spun on my booted heel instantly, fire in my eyes, fists balled, and began to march towards him to return the favor (you know, an eye for an eye). I figured a cheek for a cheek, but I had intended to belt him one with my heavily ringed fist. I was stone cold sober and he was obviously drunk. However, that did not give him the right to hit me. I don’t care what part of my body he hit — it was unwarranted and unprovoked on my part. I was leaving the bathroom for Christ sake. As I started to storm forward his buddies formed a jovial wall of bro-dom, protecting the prick from this executrix of justice; all apologetically attempting to soothe and excuse for their friend. Given I’d lost the opportunity to strike back I backed off. Looking back now though, I wish I had told the bartenders or owners that I’d been assaulted by another patron and that I’d be calling the police. I wish now he’d been arrested. And I say this — as extreme as it might sound to some — because I too am sick of the “boys will be boys” pass. He hit me. I fell. He should have felt the full consequence of his actions. Striking a woman just because he liked her ass is not okay. I would have pressed charges so he’d know not to do it again, because it seems the only way to get through some thick skulls is to make an example out of a situation. Had he struck another man at the bar, he would have endured the same. But because I was a woman he found appealing, I’m sure the cops would have laughed it off as a “boys will be boys” thing and left me feeling just as pissed and helpless.”

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Technophobe Who Codes | UX Generalist | Freelance Writer | Egalitarian-Feminist | True-Crime/Forensics Enthusiast

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