This was absolutely true with both my narc mother and my ex-husband (I call him narc light in comparison). He did have a lot of her tendencies (the gaslighting, unrealistic expectations, constantly putting the responsibilities onto me, never being accountable or taking ownership of HIS mistakes, etc..)
For narcs, NOTHING you do will EVER be good enough. Instead of trying harder, you are better off walking out the door the moment you realize what kind of situation you are in. It IS hard, because of the trauma bonds, love bombing, etc.