But just because something hasn’t happened to you doesn’t mean it isn’t a valid concern. And every time you dismiss our caution as being paranoid, you increase the chances of us getting hurt. You may not mean it that way, but your dismissal is just another way of putting your privilege ahead of our safety.
We out of town once with a boyfriend. We were in a city I'd never been to before, staying in a hotel downtown. He was there for an event. During said event, he decided to stroll down the street a couple of blocks to another hotel where many of his convention friends were staying. I, the socially burnt out introvert, elected to stay in, write a little and get to bed. He claimed to be fine with it. An hour later, I was barraged with drunken texts telling me I needed to come get him, to socialize with him, etc. I was ripe. HE was asking ME to put myself in a dangerous position. Middle of the night, he wants me to walk by myself, downtown in a place I don't live, to meet up with him when all I wanted to do was sleep. Long story short, he was certainly drunk and we fought about this incident for several days following.
My primary arguments 1. I shouldn't be expected to socialize ALL the time when we are out somewhere, out of town for a few days. I need down time to recoup. Socializing, for me, is annoying and draining. I'm the person, who as soon as we get to the party, I'm already planning on when we can leave, "5 minutes, 10?" And 2. I shouldn't have been put in the position where I was expected to stroll down the street and put myself at risk.
He just didn't get it. Hello, I could be mugged, assaulted, raped, murdered in those few blocks, walking alone at night. I'm the one who has to be hyper-aware all the GD time.